And just like that...

A few weeks ago the temperatures rose slightly outside and the snow began to melt. This winter has been incredibly cold and the snow has been on the ground since some time in December.
And just like that, the pretty white snow that we had been surrounded by all winter long was gone. Just like that, it's spring.
I started to reflect on other things that happen "just like that." My baby, for instance, sleeps for 14 hours and grows 2 inches. Just like that - he's 2 inches taller than he was when he was born, so brand new.
I'm training for our church's 5k. I have never been a runner, yet I was prayerfully determined to train for this, and to hopefully run it straight through. This afternoon, I ran outside for 25 minutes without stopping. I wouldn't necessarily say "just like that", but I'm making a point.
This week we lost a dear friend to an unexpected and unforeseen heart attack. She was short of breath Sunday morning, her husband called the paramedics, she called out for help, and then passed out. Just like that. Gone. Home with the Lord but gone from us. So quickly. No warning. Makes you stop and think. What do we want to get out of each day? How can I love my husband, my son, my friends and family better? How can I live life to the fullest and enjoy life more? What really matters? If our eventual goal is to be in Heaven for eternity, wouldn't I want to get to know God as best as I can before I meet Him face to face? Does anything matter? Is it all for naught since one day we will be no more; our earthly bodies will be no more, dressed up, put into a casket, lowered into the ground. Then all that is left are memories. I saw Amy's memories yesterday and today. I want to make those kinds of memories. I want Joshua to have those kinds of memories to look back on.
But it can't be all for naught otherwise God would take those who are saved to eternity immediately. And those who are not, would they be left here to get chance after chance to choose him? No, God isn't like that. He has a plan. We are here on this earth, for an appointed time, for a reason. I'm discovering more and more one of my reasons. I've known it for some time but never realized it as a gift, this purpose for me. And I'm grateful God has chosen me for this purpose for this time. Might our purposes change with time? Probably.
But for today my purpose is to love and I hope and pray that I do that as well as God gives me strength to. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

GRRR turning into peace

I don't know what this blog looks like, but I know that I need to write.
We just got back from the library - Joshua and I - I'm very concerned about his fear of other children being near him. It's stressful and embarrassing to be very honest.
It didn't help that it was so dark when we got home at noon that I wanted to pull the Christmas tree back out for some light.
It also doesn't help that I gave everything up that has a hold on me for Lent. This includes no less than Facebook - which surprisingly hasn't been very hard - coffee, tea - hot or iced - soda, hot chocolate and basically any drinks other than water, and any kind of relief that comes in a pill form like my new reliance on Ativan. Luckily, though this year I did not give up chocolate, because when we got home from Target just now I gobbled a handful of chocolate covered goji berries or whatever I bought there.
I wanted to come home, change the entire house around to make it new and exciting and LIGHT and down some sort of beverage or pill that would take this angst away from me that I'm carrying with me today.
However what I did was light a candle and make Joshua his lunch.
Then I ate a gigantic salad from Costco with shredded kale, cabbage, and brussel sprouts, topped with cranberries and sunflower seeds, peppers, cucumbers and avocado.
And I sat on the couch while Joshua was watching his DVD and I ate my salad. And it was good. And I was thankful.
And, now I'm full. I don't want anything else. I'm going to email some friends with children who have special needs or some needs out of the norm, and hopefully blend into the afternoon with my little man, loving him for who he is.
Today, for this moment, I had a victory, and it didn't come in the form of some sort of self medication.
And that's what I've been calling out to God to accomplish this Lent season, however hard it is.

Hello

I like to write. It helps me to get the ideas that swarm  my mind all day long out into the light. I've been looking for a way to write for awhile now, however I can ell as these words come out that 'm very out of practice!
I'd thought about having an inspirational facebook page but that never panned out.
So, this morning while I was reading my devotional - Jesus Calling - I came upon this verse:

Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

Reading this made me think of another blog that I've been following for awhile - it makes me feel like a true woman when I read this other blog. So I had the idea of starting this with this verse being the inspiration.
I don't know how to put the pretty pictures up yet, but I'm going to try to; being as candid as I can.
I need an outlet to write so that I can live my life without my mind always being clouded and running on the hamster wheel that it runs on. I want to love my life with the freedom that Jesus came to give me and I hope that this little blog will be a form of just that! :)